Swung by Bali last fall for a friend’s wedding and enjoyed myself in the company of old and new friends celebrating the union of two very special people. Though Bali is far from my destination of choice and I don’t quite understand society’s fascination with it, one has to admit that the pictures tell a different story about its seemingly natural beauty. Just an opinion, I suppose. However, I will admit that everytime I go to a beach destination, I realise that I do in fact enjoy basking in the afterglow (both kinds; all kinds) as we look in awe of what our creator has done.
Incoming: a very delayed reflection from Spring. It makes me wonder if I am the same person I was then? So much has changed in the littlest of ways, and I am exuberant in light of such development. Life has been good, and God has been such a blessing in my life. Even amidst life’s struggles and prayers for breakthroughs, I am constantly reminded that I have a saviour I can rely on.
Today, I thought of E.E Cumming’s “I thank you God for this amazing”, one of my beloved poems as a teenager. As strange as it sounds, I remember wanting so desperately to understand the true meaning behind his words, and forgetting about these words for the next two decades of my life – merely remembering the last stanza until today, until today.
I am aware this is likely the first time in the short history of this journal that I am professing my faith so loudly, even thought it has been years! It matters not because the heart of my heart is awake and that is all that matters.
i thank You God for most this amazing day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything which is natural which is infinite which is yes
(i who have died am alive again today, and this is the sun’s birthday; this is the birth day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay great happening illimitably earth)
how should tasting touching hearing seeing breathing any–lifted from the no of all nothing–human merely being doubt unimaginable You?
(now the ears of my ears awake and now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
This year has been proving to be a blur, which I’m not a fan of. After many years, I’m starting to feel uneasy that a year is constantly summarised by travels and work as milestones. This is not to say I don’t enjoy these blessings, but being (even) more intentional about my life choices have given me added clarity as of late.
It’s been a while since I’ve been back to Japan, and it’s always nice to have time between meetings to revisit old joints and discover some new ones. After three years away, it has come to my attention that the years spent studying the language has diminished to near zero, which is rather disheartening! Simple ordering (albeit in broken grammar) is relatively still fine, but the idea of having a conversation has rendered me frozen. Also, you know that once they compliment your language ability, you are just ‘ right. down. there’. Much less photos as of late as I spend a lot more time writing these days. Visual diaries are still so beautiful, but words have the ability to evoke notions like no other.
San Francisco is still the most beautiful place in the world to me. It’s no longer as sleepy as it used to be, it’s certainly not as clean (was it ever?), and surely not as safe as it once was, and yet it remains special. Well, the heart wants what it wants, or else it does not care (it’s 90 years shy of a century, yet the truth of Emily Dickinson remains; albeit in a different context.) I’ve been thinking about the weather as it transitions from spring to almost summer, then from fall to winter (completely skipping indian summer) and all the beautiful walks i’ve taken with the people important to me. Feeling nostalgic today, perhaps.
More highlights from the longest solo Europe trip ever.
Also, I’ve graduated! (saying this 10 months too late, but it felt appropriate since this trip was for my grad ceremony.) Obviously, there is no distinct difference to an additional degree, though one might refute that statement if it was a PhD and had ambitions to be a professor and/or researcher. If I were to be so blessed to consider that career path, I’d say that the bureaucracy of academia makes me feel a little nauseous.. It takes a special kind of skill set to navigate through those waters. After much contemplation, I simply could not think of a better way for the process to be improved so who am I to bemoan the structure when I have no inkling toward a solution? Therefore, back to the old capitalism grind for yours truly. Still longing for my farm dream though.
This was something I had wanted to do for a tremendously long time – ever since I had learned about French history in in high school. The rococo period has always been one of the more fascinating (and dramatic) periods of time in French history, with a rich and breathtaking view to back up its claim to fame.
I would suppose this post is dedicated to my 18 year old self who thought the world of Louis xvi, though in reality he was just a timid child who was scared of everything. Huge kudos to him for always being faithful and never having a mistress though. In lieu of all the stories, Louis xiv would still have to be my personal favourite. I imagine court to be a little like a circus in more ways than one and being an observer would probably entail lots of entertainment. At least until my head rolled… that is.
As expected, the palace was wildly packed during the summer, but it was an enjoyable experience nonetheless. It was definitely a bucket list check sort of moment – and I don’t even have a bucket list. Also, I ate the dryest jambon beurre baguette in the history of bread, so I had to commemerate that. Now I like my baguette with a bit of chew as much as the next French person, but it was too much. No amount of butter could salvage it, and that says a lot! Well, I don’t think I would necessarily repeat that consuption, but it did make me chuckle quite a bit.
Another one for the memory bank: getting lost in the the labyrinth of Versailles whilst walking the garden grounds. It was not pleasant to say the least because the land is massive and it was exhausting. For the longest time, it seemed as though hedge mazes were cool and grand (they still are), but now I will think twice about venturing into one.
I’m finally looking back on the many highlights from Paris 2022, where I spent an unhealthy amount of time museum hopping and hitting all the major highlights ranging from modern art, contemporary art, and even a selection of classic impressionist works. My mind was enriched, to say the least. I am most definitely looking foward to visit Paris again in the near future, even at the risk of getting robbed, mobbed, or encounter their daily (peaceful) protests down the corner from any given rue de la blah-blah-blah (you have to watch friends if you haven’t already.) However, I found navigating gypsies possibly more difficult than any of the others abovementioned. All part and parcel of the adventure, one would suppose.
Once again, it’s long overdue, but I’m finally looking through photos from my Europe trip last year. It was possibly my longest solo trip to date (at a solid 7 weeks) and as expected, it was tremendous fun and full of eye-opening experiences. I haven’t written anything publicly for a long time now, and it feels strange to pen my thoughts for both friend (or foe) to read. Don’t take anything too seriously. As usual, it’s just my ramblings written on hindsight while looking back on these old photos I’ve taken.
Amsterdam is such a charming city, and I thoroughly enjoyed the curation at Stedelijk museum, as well as the opportunity to view some of Rembrandt and Vemeer’s classics. Importantly, I also discovered the name of an artist whose print I’ve been looking for over a decade (before Google image search was a thing), and that made the entire trip worthwhile. Long story short, those prints are now mine (2/3 of them anyway), and now the lifelong search continues for the last, and perhaps the most treasured piece in the collection (at least to me, because of my personal connection with it.) Ah, just thinking back on the memory makes me reflect on what a serendipitous encounter it was! It was undoubtly a good day.
More wintery gems post season, and just a “tad” bit late as usual. Gloomy, yet sunny as I traversed up and down the 101. Late, yet not. Tired, yet not. Optimistic, yet not. Pessimistic, yet not. A mixture and a myraid of emotions as I reflect on life thus far. Slow and steady does it.
Denise Taw 